I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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