Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
that is very illegal...i love you.
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