My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
whose ass print is on the piano?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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