he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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