I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
