I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
