This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize