your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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