I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
