barbara walters just said penis...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
