Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
