I have demons in me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
