So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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