never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
pray to the hookup gods
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
