Life is so much better after having sex.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
