I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Your penis caused this!
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