I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
