What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
