Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize