some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
