I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
