Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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