you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
