"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
