I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
