I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
