she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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