My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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