I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
