I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
