I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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