There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
