So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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