i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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