just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i believe in u and ur pee
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
