is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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