I'm gonna have a badass scar
I faked an abortion last night.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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