We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
