It's just like the Real World with babies
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
