tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
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