you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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