I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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