your room smells of hookers.
And success
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
