She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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