thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
