Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
When did we convert life to cartoon?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
