he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
