it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
