Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I want to fling myself into the sun
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
