i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
