you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
