haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
