he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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