How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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