is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just cropdusted the office
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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