you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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