Can Purell be used as lube?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
