i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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