During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize