You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
