were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
