and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
