note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
