dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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