Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
