I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
